19:49 I'm writing jokes that would've been topical like 10 - 15 years ago today. That's just not right. #

20:45 @JRWStormy So long as somebody didn't squirt in your booze. #

20:56 Motto of John Boehner's Tanning Coalition: It takes a nation of millions to keep us brown. (orange) #

20:58 I'm in ur internets synthesizing ur kultur - lolartists #

02:16 @BrilligT congrats! #

11:14 @rev_norel_pref Why would people want to listen to you in the can? #

14:18 @cdashiell What good would common sense for it do? It's witchcraft, wicked witchcraft. #

20:08 I'm going to have a nervous goddamned breakdown here in a minute. #

02:37 @KitiaraTomsen im okay now. I was going insane trying to record the show with Thanksgiving going on overhead. very frustrating. thanks #

02:39 I fear the turkey pardoning sets a bad precedent. What's the turkey recidivism rate since the pardoning? #

12:19 RT @cdashiell: During Black History Month we celebrate our struggle for freedom. On Black Friday we celebrate our struggle for crap. #

13:30 1014 years ago today the crusades started. You know... like Jesus would've wanted #

16:30 I'm a year late but if you haven't heard Eddie Izzard's 'podcast' it's a long interview on itunes, is very interesting and funny. #

16:55 @KitiaraTomsen You can't just melt crayons on the cookies! Well you can but it'll be like breaking dishes to get out of drying them #

19:23 @cdashiell I don't remember recalling Alberto Gonzalez #

19:24 @JRWStormy If you're just handing out cheesecakes, I'd like one. So would John from King Missle. #

20:57 I'm so old I remember when the day after Thanksgiving was called afro-american friday #

13:29 Holidays are an irritating interruption. Normal days are so much more fun. #

17:30 quackery loves company #

18:04 @rev_norel_pref You should never mock fellatio #

19:31 Between WTF, I Love Movies, and Adam Carolla, I feel like the hipster talk show podcast has never been stronger. #

19:33 I can't stand holiday schmaltz so I'm boycotting myself for this week's show. #

22:57 There's no jazz equivalent to 'rock on' is there? #

19:17 Liz Cheney, whose name we only know because of her famous father, complains we aren't bootstrapping hard enough. Get a real job, Liz! #

20:52 Republicans want a 'purity test' for GOP candidates. If it's anything like the old purity test, none of them will pass. #

13:25 Why would anybody eat any food that begins with 't-u-r-d' Yes, I do feel the same way about shitake mushrooms #

15:05 I think this is officially two months of consistent non-smoking today. Still hate it. Still broke. Totally not worth it. #

15:51 writing about smoking an hour ago appears to have brought back my smoker's cough. so not worth quitting #

12:22 @DaphneA Only two bottles? Bombay Sapphire and Dry Vermouth. #

12:35 I've lost my badge for work and in getting in the place I realized my ID is expired too. I might not actually exist. Oops! #

13:31 David Gregory misused 'phyrric victory' and then Kay Bailey Hutchinson misunderstood either his use or the real meaning #

13:44 Hutchison says the health care bill needs more debate but didn't she vote against allowing it to go to the floor for debate? make your mind #

13:46 Dear Christians. Do you have any beloved Christmas Poems you break out every year? Other than the night before christmas #

14:14 I apologize for saying 'thermodynamics' when I meant motion. www.blacktiemartiniclub.com #

14:26 LIEberman says that govt has never intruded in private business like Healthcare though he begged to let Govt. stifle Free Speech #

15:34 why don't they fortify 'optional' type pills, like viagra or birth control, with vitamins and minerals like cereal? It couldn't hurt right? #

17:08 Does the Apostrophe in General Tso's Chicken indicate possesion or that Gen. Tso is in fact, cowardly? #

17:10 Enemy of the Steak. #meatmovies Hamburger Hill #

14:34 SNL's opener where white guys played Obama and Hu Jintao didn't exactly scream diversity #

07:45 Every Saturday morning I wake up having left the night shift to work the day shift feeling like I've been raped by time. #

07:46 ... Except for that one little thing, I really like my schedule though. Weird, huh? #

10:54 My baloney has a first name but still insists I call it, "Mr. Baloney" #

11:45 I can only hope the word, "Scozzafavization" enters the lexicon in 2010. #

12:06 @DaphneA I'm not only in denial about winter but I'm also in denial about Christmas, Thanksgiving and Hanukkah. They aren't happening. #

12:07 Because Thursday is my day off anyway, I get no special holiday next week. SWEET! more hours for me. #

12:17 @DaphneA it's too cold on those holidays, I'm skipping ahead to 4th of July. #

13:39 Dear media, please stop talking about Sarah Palin. She's just an unemployed blogger (one of many) and won't go away till the cameras do. #

10:33 Today's Black Tie Martini Club Oddcast will hopefully be published tonight. Had some technical difficulties yesternight. (user error) #

11:01 after 36 years w/ no flow suddenly this morning in the shower I had the ability to freestyle rap. Male Menopause? #

12:28 Train station this morning they were tearing up the concrete and sod they laid down earlier this week in landscaping project. Stimulus jobs? #

14:52 @rev_norel_pref back in my day we had an old moon and we were happier for it! Kids these days. They don't appreciate nuthin. #

16:21 RT @DanaJGould: Reality shows: people who aren't actors working with people who aren't writers in an amateur production of nothing. #

17:40 @JRWStormy no you don't. then you have to continually stare that blank page in the face and confront your own lack of creativity. (like me) #

10:34 Dear liberals, if you like the daily show and or Colbert, you should really be watching the Wanda Sykes show. #

14:53 People ask me how I stay looking so young, I tell them; I not only drink lots of water but breathe lots of air too. #

16:32 The worlds most successful stripper, does she keep her poles in a pole vault? #

20:57 @thekeeme I hope you do! Or if not home, disneyland. #

12:24 @Katglimmer You know if they had that, you'd get a lot more guys into libraries. #

12:30 @radarm I'd like a Google Weave. The only hairpiece you can control with your android phone! #

12:39 I want an invite for Google Waiver. Where in case of legal trouble you get Eric Schmidts lawyer on your side. #

13:14 @Katglimmer Well, I didn't know about that but even so. MILFs are in vogue right now. Foreign 'art' films, less so. #

13:27 Lou Dobbs blames Obama for him 'leaving' CNN?!? Obama turned Dobbs into a nutjob racist? REALLY?!? I think there is video to the contrary. #

13:38 RT @radarm: well bugger all //There isn't time. And a couple of my co-workers aren't up for it. Losers! #

15:36 @Sougent There many employed bums? I didn't know that was a paying gig. I think I might be qualified. I like dogs and streetcorners. #

16:12 walking around with three coats but no pants on, I get told to put on socks before going outside. #

23:44 @DaphneA planned obsolescence in an Apple product? shocking! I'm sure replacing it will be cheap and easy like it would be on a PC. heh. #

15:25 I have to confess, David Gregory was more or less okay this week on Meet The Press. #

15:26 David Gregory and George Stephanopolous asked almost exactly the same questions of Hilary Clinton in almost exactly the same order. #

20:12 Still really pissed off about not smoking. grrr... Want to punch the FDA in the junk. #

09:40 Got egged on the bus last night on the way home, cooked a fortnight of lunch till 1 AM and forgot to bring said lunch to work at 10 AM. yay. #

09:55 The GOP is against 9/11 trial happening in NYC? Where do they want it to happen, Syria? Saudi Arabia? Why do they hate America? #

13:30 I'm not complaining about it being 70 degrees in the frozen north in Mid November but it is weird. #

18:03 I know you are all going to be shocked by this but I am NOT a good little girl. #

12:28 @Katglimmer Shakira knows. Everybody does. #

14:47 @Katglimmer Is that like an historical oedipal complex? #

15:16 @Katglimmer Well I wouldn't kick Catherine the Great out of bed for being Empress. #

15:20 Now that they've found water on the moon, who wants to invest in my new worlds least 'green' bottled water company? #

16:12 @Katglimmer Anonymously gift him or her with an ettiquite or miss manners book, bookmark and highlight the part about not screaming nightly #

16:27 I don't understand how pretending the tide is turning in your favor when it isn't, helps your party. why bother posture about past election? #

16:30 Google News has story about growing penis tissue with picture of Bugs Bunny in Space Jam. TMI Bunny, T. M. I. #

16:31 Working late unexpectedly tonight. I hopw the critters don't hear that and think I'm seeing other pets on the side. #

22:41 Dwarves notwithstanding, whistling while you work is really inappropriate while treating someone for PTSD. #

22:50 Cap & Trade is too expensive. Crap & Trade is too messy. I say go with Slap & Trade where you get to punch captains of industry. #

22:44 Time sure flies when most calls take like ten times as long to resolve as normal. #

01:31 It's been over a month of non-smoking and I still fucking hate it. If they made cloves legal again today, I would start smoking immediately #

14:06 Aren't you glad you don't have Like a Rhinestone Cowboy stuck in your head? #

15:07 RT @secretsquirrel: Pro-tip: the quickest way to start a knife fight amongst English graduates is to use the word 'gerunding'. #

15:21 @cdashiell If there's an Old World and a New World, then there has to be a Next World. Probably underwater or in space. #

15:47 SNL this weekend was really quite good. Hasn't been a great season so far but this week, fabulous. #

15:48 Relatedly we should really make Taylor Swift and Justin Timberlake breed. You never want to like either but they force you with talent. #

15:51 Meet The Press this week, the segment listing all the topics to be discussed was longer than any of the actual topics. #

15:52 This week's David Gregory insult brought to you by Dolly Madison: David Gregory makes wonder bread look insightful and spicy by comparison. #

15:54 @cdashiell Greedy Old People is more apt than Republican. I bet most couldn't define how a republic is different from a democracy. #

15:59 @cdashiell I meant most republicans couldn't define them. I think with the inter-toobz, literal democracy is feasable and ideal even. #

16:13 According to The Economist Satellites are analysing farmland to optimize it (for a price). If farmers are using satellites now, LASERS, when #

01:25 Elections have consequences, Righties! (or they would except for the senate) #

18:47 @LyndaN I think I've been on that bus! #

07:58 Let me get this straight, America won the World Series AGAIN?!? I mean, what are the odds?!? #

10:05 If one's Novemeber Writing project involves the most recently disgraced Illinois Governor would that be a, "NaBloGoNoWriMo"? #

11:00 Today's effects from working the morning shift though I normally work nights: My long sleeved polo shirt is on inside out. Been here an hour #

14:45 @radarm I just think 'world series' is an absurd title. Imagine if England held the world cup and it was all british and one irish team. #

14:46 Head #realfilmsnotpornfilms Some Came Running #

14:57 Seems like nearly any Elvis movie works for #realfilmsnotpornfilms Girls girls girls, Blue Hawaii, Clambake, Fun in Acapulco, etc. #

15:27 More #realfilmsnotpornfilms by Elvis: Tickle Me, Love Me Tender, Wild in the Country, Kissin' Cousins. #

22:56 W.C. Fields warned against working with children and pets, I'm adding stoners to that list despite my fondness for many of them. #

09:19 @rev_norel_pref Little known fact Dostoyevsky wrote the Gambler because he was a psychic Kenny Rogers fan. The Idiot is about Julio Iglesias #

10:00 I feel obliged at this time to mention that the hot podcast light is on over at blacktiemartiniclub.com Get 'em while they're hot! #

10:38 I just heard that Oprah's illiterate pie is shutting down. #

10:39 Before I hop into the shower I need to point out to you all that so far today my awesomely awesomeness is actually very very awesome. #